Monday, September 29, 2008

Khabi waived

It's been rumored that Nikolai Khabibulin has been waived by the Blackhawks.
I hope we fucking trade his ass for something worth a used puck bag or better.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Who's pulling the strings?

I sometimes wonder what the *insert favorite obscenity here* is going on in the front office in Chicago. I've complained non-stop about the fact that we over-signed Brian Campbell and picked up extraneous goaltending depth with Christobal Huet. But I think in a lot of ways Dale Tallon has done a good job, assuming we declare a "mulligan" on his first year which would have been the first year after the lockout. This summer though has boggled my mind endlessly, which has led me to question who's really calling the shots.

We all know the sports world is a dog eat dog world and an old boys playground. Since John McDonough became President of Operations, the front office choices have somewhat boggled my mind. We all know that Dale and Denis Savard aren't "John's Guys". To say he didn't select them. He's just stuck with them for right now. In back to back years Mr. McDonough has become the President of Operations for two Chicago sports teams. The year before he did the same job for the Chicago Cubs. You can almost draw a straight line and follow the same system of player movements between the two franchises as he took over the reigns. First step is to make a giant hoopla about how great the fans are and how giant the team is. Done and done. Step two sign ridiculously huge contract with biggest name on free agent market. Done and Done. Step three fire manager and bring in new guy. Done with the Cubs. Not done with the Blackhawks yet.

John got offf his script a bit by bringing in Scotty Bowman. It was a shock and surprise to hear that Scotty was coming to Chicago's front office. I was actually excited about a move that would bring a proven winner to Chicago as would any true fan. However I find it hard to believe that Scotty Bowman is going to be part of any franchise that isn't going to give him alot of say in how things run or what things are done. The guy knows what he's doing. I can't imagine he's sitting in his office not saying a word about anything.

So what I really want to know is: "Who's pulling the strings?". Is it the GM (Dale Tallon), The President of hockey operations (John McDonough), or the special advisor (Scotty Bowman)? Because it seems like there are almost too many hands in the soup kettle.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Your team Sucks!

That's right! Your team sucks! They won't go to the Playoffs and I'll tell you why!

New Jersey Devils- The Devils will miss the Playoffs because the ESPN Hockey "guru" said so. Also Marty might go down hurt or perform in the regular season like he did last post season. Despite adding Brian Rolston still not enough scoring!
New York Islanders- The Islanders will miss the Playoffs because the new coach won't be ready for the Big spotlight of the NHL. Also Mark Streit will pout and be a grump when they make him play forward instead of D.
New York Rangers- The Rangers will miss the playoffs because they lost 3 of their biggest producers. Now that Avery is gone, the Devils will beat them up while Colton Orr cries.
Philadelphia Flyers- The Flyers will miss the Playoffs after coming out strong at the beginning of the season. Then the Injury Ninja will attack. First it will be Biron going down. After a quick scramble Robert Esche will return just in time to prove he hasn't learned anything playing over seas. Then the team will lose just because we all know that Philly teams are pre-dispossessed to blow it in the end just to piss off their fans!
Pittsburgh Penguins- The Pens will be lost when Malkin is kept in Russia over some crappy little visa issue. Then Crosby will go down with a broken leg again. But Ryan Malone will step up.....Oh Wait! No. Gary Roberts! He'll step up.....oh yeah. Well Then the Pens score about 55 points in the standings and draft Tavares as #1 over all next year!
Boston Bruins- Tim Thomas is their starting goal tender. Is that enough reason? Thought so!
Buffalo Sabres- Because they are the Sabres and their fans deserve better. That's why. But Drury and Briere will be dynamite! Just not in Buffalo!
Montreal Canadiens- Les Habs will miss the playoffs when Carey Price proves he's really just Patrick Lalime in disguise. Too many forwards with not enough playing time will destroy the locker room chemistry.
Ottawa Senators- Gerber plays net. Ruutu and Alfredsson jailed after spirited argument of Sweden vs. Finland. AHL call ups not enough to save playoff hopes.
Toronto Maple Leafs- Mark Bell "Falls off the Wagon" brings Jeff Finger and Vesa Toskala along for "GTA 5: Hit and Run".
Atlanta Thrashers- Kozlov and Kovalchuk fax copies of new KHL contracts back to Atlanta with "HA HA HA!" written on them
Carolina Hurricanes- OK. More seriously. Roddy B and Justin Williams never quite return from injuries and surgeries and never see the NHL roster this season.
Florida Panthers- After losing Jokinen in that trade the Jokes one them. They never regain anything resembling an offense and are done before they begin.
Tampa Bay Lightning- Vincent LeCavillier is benched after his refusal to grow the "Mandatory team mullet". the "C" sewn onto Barry Melrose's suit jacket as he's not used to talking without an embroidered logo on his jacket.
Washington Capitals- Four words- Jose Theodore in net.
Chicago Blackhawks- Left holding the Khabi-bag they make zero moves for more NHL quality forwards. the Kids and Sharp score the only team goals.
Columbus Blue Jackets- Ken Hitchcock shaves off the mustache, loses all power. Rick Nash demands trade.
Detroit Red Wings- Lidstrom's less than physical play exposed, Conklin and Osgood pay the price. Still not as big as Hossa being KO'ed by Dustin Byfuglien's left shoulder. Game over, man! GAME OVER!
Nashville Predators- Talent fire saled as the team attempts to sneak out of town for the greener pasures of Kansas City.
St Louis Blues- Keith Tkachuk eats all of the team's food one day during training camp. The Resulting brawl leaves 3 hurt, and 1 critically hurt Manny Legace.
Calgary Flames- As Kiprosoff loses his game and lets too many goals go by, the team actually falls asleep on the bench watching their own boring play style.
Colorado Avalanche- Budaj or Raycroft? Which one would you rather point fingers at?
Edmonton Oilers- Gretzky, Messier, Fuhr, and a Stanley Cup Ring all sold to LA for Pocklington's grand children.
Minnesota Wild- Demitra and Rolston don't resign and....OH WAIT!
Vancouver Canucks- Play tired after waiting up all night for secret crush Mats Sundin to return calls.
Anaheim Ducks- Owner jailed for fraud. Team sold back to Disney who names Gordon Bombay as head coach.
Dallas Stars- Mr. Drama-Sean Avery-gets into locker room ruckus with Marty Turco taking both players out for the season. Avery hangs around in the locker room talking about how awesome Vogue is.
Los Angeles Kings- After trading Kopitar for Khabibulin on accident their Play Off time golf tee time is solidified in concrete!
Phoenix Coyotes- Gretzky loses control and respect from the team after temper tantrum over not leading the league in goals, assists, or points.
San Jose Sharks- New Coach's "I'm Okay, You're Okay!" philosophy not bought into by team.

And that's why your team sucks and won't make it to the Playoffs!
The truth is I have no real knowledge on whether or not your team is gonna make the playoffs. There's so many things that could or could not let them make it that it's hard to really call. It's all guesstimations. So enjoy the season....unless you're a Wings fan. No one likes a show off!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Conspiracy Theory

It's that time of the year when nothing is really going on. Which perfectly goes hand in hand with the rumor mill, the speculation factory, and the conspiracy theory workshop all ramping up to the highest possible out put. Everyone has an idea, gut feeling, or hunch and they think you want to hear it. Most of what you're going to hear is complete horse puckey. So be careful out there kids.

The thing that irks me the most is that I am waiting for a very special episode where Dad (as played by Dale Tallon) sends his eldest son off (as played by Nikolai Khabibulin). It'll be the Season Finale. The whole season will end with a she-bang and a cliff hanger as everyone waits to see how everything comes out the next season.

But all of the "Insider information" I'm getting is only slightly less reliable than Wikipedia. The Conspiracy Theory bloggers are going full bore with no real leads.

There isn't any real hint beyond mind numbingly obvious speculations. I know alot of people think that Lang was dealt for cap space, and I won't deny that. HOWEVER, in my opinion it was step one of forcing someone's hand (LA?) to make a move for Khabibulin. If we deal Khabibulin we would have the room to bring a big contract player in. There's a small possibilty that Khabibulin will still get dealt with a big name with a big contract returning our way. But who that team would be is in question. I have a suspicion Khabi will be netminding in Colorado with either Budaj or Raycroft and a draft pick heading back to Chicago.

With the open space we can sign prospect camp stand out Mike Radja to a two way contract. We also would have room to clean up another NHL expierianced forward off someone else's cap busted roster.

None of this is probably true, but I like to dream. I never wanted Nikolai Khabibulin in the beautiful Indian Headed sweater, but he's here.....for now. I really want him to go away for good, and I spend alot of my free time day dreaming about him packing his suitcase and hitting the bricks. But hey, that's just me!

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Tell your story walking, Bobby.

I can't say as I'm happy to report that Mr. Robert Lang is no longer a Blackhawk. I'm guessing that you know by now that much at least. I won't go so far as to say that he was the bravest or toughest or most talented player on the team last year, but I do think he was an integral part of what the Blackhawks were trying to accomplish. Last year was a very good year for the fans despite the lack of a post season appearance, and Bobby Lang was very much a part of that team.
I can't say as to why the Blackhawks traded him instead of buying out Nikolai Khabibulin. So instead of keeping a Czech that puts pucks in nets we keep the moody Russian that can't keep pucks out of nets.
I'm pissed off. I'd elaborate but I'm saving it up for a very special episode I like to call 'Fuck you, Dale Tallon." or more accurately "Fire Dale Tallon!" coming soon. I promise.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Tis the Season

It's almost Christmas, Pre-season. Same thing different name more or less.
This whole offseason has been a terrible plight for the hockey addicted fiends of the world.
Once the Free agent Frenzy was over it seemed like every GM in the NHL brushed their hands and said "Well that's that. Let's go golfing!". Pretty much any action going on is a snoozefest. I really don't care which second tier AHL guy has been signed by which team. I'm not alone.
But seriously, to steal a cliched 80's catch phrase Where's the Beef?
Where's the Action? Where's the suspense? You can say the whole Sundin Saga counts, but I disagree. Is an over the hill backsliding talent like Sundin's waiting game really suspense or is it the sort of story that is indicative of the boring offseason so far?
The KHL seemed like a good story line for a second. But the only real story there is Jagr pouting his way back behind the Iron Curtain. Wade Dubieliwitz and Ray Emery running off to Russia is the equivalent of a road movie made with a B-Movie budget. Add a shrug and move on.
But we can get past that if we get the Payoff. What's the Payoff? A great NHL season. At this point I'll take a mediocre season and run with it. Things this summer have gotten that bad. Usually I'm not all that set on the Pre-season. Whip dee damn doo the pre-season is here. Not this year. I'm so hard up for something worth talking about happening in the NHL I'll take the AHL call up goons going at it over a BLT sandwich in a Jimmy John's on ESPN 8 "The Ocho".
The last action to happen before they start really dropping pucks is going to be the few teams over the cap getting back under and foisting off onto LA their dregs. (Sorry Kings fans, but we both know it to be true.)

I think that's all I got this week.